Remind Me
by StrawberryChild
Summary: A letter Dawn writes to no one shortly after Buffy’s last death 20 years after the fall of the Hellmouth, Sunnydale and the First. About Spike and Buffy’s complex relationship.


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Remind Me

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Summery: A letter Dawn writes to no one shortly after Buffy's last death 20 years after the fall of the Hellmouth, Sunnydale and the First. About Spike and Buffy's complex relationship.

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Note: This has nothing to do with any of my stuff but is anyone going to support Eliza Dushku in "Tru Calling"? Yeah, she didn't continue the Buffy legacy, but I really think you should. If this doesn't pull through, then there's a good chance that she would take a Buffy spin-off job. Don't get your hopes up but considering it most likely run at the same time as Survivor, Friends, and a whole bunch of other popular shows. So tell me what you think of this and this story.

Hope ya like and review pretty pretty please.

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Dear Anyone,

All through our last year in Sunnydale, my beloved sister, Buffy made it clear that she and Spike had a very close connection, like how people in love get each other in those movies. She said she would never be in love with Spike but before her date with Robin Wood (who married Faith 2 years after Sunnydale), she said "Why does everyone in this house think I'm still in love with Spike?". Don't think she knew I heard that but I did what every little sis does and eavesdropped. To see his face when he found out, god, I've never seen anyone so, I don't think there's a word for it. After that, she had a change of heart, she had a change of heart right before Spike was taken by the First and when I thought I was a Potential and a lot after that. To think Robin was just to get over Spike. My sister is, _was_, a great person in every way but could be eternally stupid with out realizing it. She tried the human guy thing once and that turned out great, didn't it? Now to the real scoop. After that they were almost never seen without each other. It was because of Spike that Buffy went to the vineyard, showed Caleb up and got that scythe (damn, that thing was so stylin'. I know why Buffy had it buried with her though, it was the only thing she had to remind her of what Spike had done for her.) They had a very close relationship even if it was more emotional then, well yeah. 

Buffy and Spike spent the night in what she called "Touched", in each other's arms while Faith, Wood, Willow, Kennedy, Anya, and Xander all got some. I know because she told me everything before she died. It's been years, or has been years, since she last saw Spike. She never dated anyone since then. I don't think she ever got over losing him, or the fact that he said he didn't believe her. Sometimes, I could hear her wake up screaming his name. It got better when we got out of California and moved to Texas, where I live with my husband now. I know she just gave up, longest living slayer, The Slayer, just gave up and died. Not suicide, but yeah, she just got sloppy with her from and stopped working out. She was to slow, and a vamp snapped her neck. If only I had paid a little more attention to her, made sure she stayed healthy, she wouldn't have died. I know she said not to blame myself for her mistakes, said that a long time ago, but I know that if I had helped her, she would have lived to be a hundred. I hope she's happy now, I know she's happy now. 

I'm not done yet though, no nowhere near done. Things are different without her, but I can still go on living. I have my husband and children to keep me alive, to keep me from giving up. Even though Spike's not here, I still talk to him, saying I'm sorry that I never forgave him, even though Buffy did. I tell him everything, that I miss him, and that I wish he were here to help me with losing Buffy again. I know he can hear me, where ever he is. He had helped me with everything that summer Buffy was gone, he helped me deal with losing her, I had even developed a crush on him. But when Buffy came back, I lost the crush and he was like my older brother then, my Guardian Angel, my protector, I loved him, he loved me, but never more then he could love my sister. 

The tender and loved shared between those two was amazing. To find such love between mortal enemies, their love was a miracle all together. One vampire, one slayer, in a forbidden love larger then anything else. Buffy made it clear that she would chose Spike, even die for him, when it neared time to fight. In some ways, The First had been right, it said Buffy wouldn't chose me, but there was a flaw in its master plan, a loophole is what I'll call it. It tried to break people, make them kill themselves so they wouldn't help defeat it, but it didn't see that they all had backbones and supports from friends and loved ones, Buffy especially. You'd think it'd learned something over the years, being the first evil and all that. , but well, evil tends to push knowledge toward the good guys. It tried hardest to take Buffy down and almost succeeded, but Spike was there to save her. Nothing surprising there right. But there wasn't much he could do, so he spilled his feeling out to her, hoping he wouldn't be crushed by her denial. He wasn't crushed, but encouraged to stay with her, be with her, love her, even though she was unsure of herself and her own feelings.

The summer he was gone, I know she missed him, I could tell. She went through his stuff, she even visited his crypt. I don't think she noticed that I noticed, but I know she would sneak out at night when he was gone and come back some hours later crying. This was near the time right before he came back though. I don't think that was the only reason she cried though, I might have been that she missed Tara and Willow, too. I know it was more of the Spike factor though. I didn't understand why she did that at the time though. I still hated him then, and I'm sorry for that.

Even Angel knew Buffy wasn't still "in love" with him. He knew she belonged to another, he took it fine, but he, as she once put it, went all "Dawson's Creek" on her. He knew, he told me when we visited him, that Buffy loved Spike in a different way then she loved him, a little more caring. It was weird, her and Angel are, were like soul mates, they belonged together, meant to be, and she loved someone she hated for years, her mortal enemy, someone he was meant to kill. 

I don't think it was a coincidence that she could never kill Spike and that Spike could never kill Buffy. 

I guess I'll never know.

Dawn

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Saddest shit I've ever written.


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